I am growing up, and that means I am open to more learning opportunities with each year that passes.

One thing I am starting to learn is that you will always be confronted by situations, circumstances, and events that will try to discourage you and leave you disheartened.

When that happens, it is so important to listen to your positive inner voice and reflect on the matter in a way that empowers you, instead of leaving you broken.

Today, I’m sharing two life lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning) in my twenties. I’m writing from personal experiences to share some inspiration and insights about how to focus on yourself in the best ways possible.

The only person who needs to support your art is you.

It is in our nature, when we achieve something, to share it and celebrate it with those around us. But picture this. You’ve written or painted something amazing. Your first instinct is to talk about it with others, in your life, or online, and their response to your hard work isn’t what you had anticipated. Their limited enthusiasm seems to break down your enthusiasm too.

I used to be angry about this experience. I’ve had plenty of them. In the last year or so, I’ve learned not to be upset when this happens. In the moment you share your work with others, what matters most of all is your bravery and passion. Silence or bewildered gazes do not mean rejection of your craft or your talent.

While I am profoundly grateful to have several people support me in my creative efforts, a lesson I learned is you must be your own cheerleader. What is a breakthrough for you, in your life, will not have the same meaning for someone else in their life. So, you can’t expect them to have an excitement that matches your own. I have learned that, at times, the act of listening, and smiling, and responding from another person is more than enough.

Sometimes, people are overwhelmed or tired or stressed. Sometimes, they don’t know what to say or how to react. I think when you share the artwork of any kind with someone, they may feel pressure to understand every part of it, to be critical of it in a supportive way, and it leaves them not knowing what to say, because they themselves are not writers or artists.

When you share your artwork with another person, however little or much they say in support is the best they can do for you. Of course, you will find people in your lives who will intentionally put you down, but it is best to ignore the opinions of those people. For the ones that matter most, who genuinely care about you and encourage you, do not read their limited response as a negative response.

The key idea is that when you’re proud of your achievements, your voice is the loudest, even if it feels like it is the only voice cheering for you. It is your job as a creative to inspire, praise, and validate your work. You are the one with the most passion and determination to see yourself succeed.

Being single, persistently, doesn’t make you a failure.

There is no handbook to teach you how to be an adult. Despite this, a lot of people, myself included, like to pretend that there is one, especially for young women. We like to pretend there are milestones that all young people (notably, women) have to achieve when they’re in their twenties. For me, the biggest of these is being in a long-term relationship.

At various points in our university years, a lot of my friends were in steady, long-term relationships. I wasn’t. I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me that I either wasn’t pursuing a relationship or that I wasn’t in one already. This sentiment pushed me to date people when I wasn’t ready. Looking back, I didn’t even like the person I dated at the time.

It’s terrible to feel as if you are failing at being a woman because you aren’t in a long-term relationship with someone. As if such a small part of life, a romantic relationship, is the only thing that gives life value, and meaning, and happiness. A lesson I learned recently is that my life isn't, and shouldn't be, defined by my number of romantic partners (or lack thereof).

Times have changed. There are hundreds of paths for women to walk on, with bridges, crossroads, and so much more. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to explore and focus on where those paths might lead you. You shouldn’t feel guilty or anxious about not being in a relationship when you have bigger priorities elsewhere.

Someone else’s achievements or choices are not a guideline for your own choices. Comparison can have a big part to play when you experience self-doubt and fear about the life you’re living. The key thing is to recognize when in your life you start to feel like your comparing yourself to others, and call yourself out for doing that. Rewrite your negative thoughts and opinions into more uplifting ones.

For a long time, I would feel upset about not being in a relationship. Until I snapped out of it and asked myself, “Do you even want to be in a relationship right now?” and my answer was a big “NO”. I don’t think that the twenties are the “best years of your life”. However, I do think that they’re the best years to focus on yourself and find yourself. It is the best time to be self-partnered and make room for your best self before you make room for someone else, if that is something you want.

Lately, these are the two lessons I’ve learned that have been on my mind constantly. To recap, the biggest support in your life must come from yourself, not those around you, and being single should only be scary because it means you have the world at your feet and it is limitless. If you don’t like the narrative around you, or within you, change it so that it empowers you instead.